Pessimism is out...OPTI-misim is in....fuck that

i feel like this blog title should be an OPI nail color and nothing else haha.

well let me fill you bloggies in, the ones that actually read and are awesome (hint hint my dear friend A, who i could not live without). if you don't read, i don't really care anymore..

i had the most opportune time of being admitted into a health institution these last 8 days..boy lemme tell you, it was a blast in a glass! haha not really, but it was a much needed move and i'm glad my parents suggested i go. i've learned a lot; how to accept things about myself, how to let things go, how to flush out the bad things in my life in the most polite way possible, how to be patient, how to relieve stress in positive ways, and how to be a better listener and how to eat healthier! HOW did i learn all this in 8 days you say?? well when you are diagnosed with a scary sounding mood disorder, anything is possible. i will have this mood disorder for life, but i am learning to manage the outbreaks and will have to be medicated for life. i am grateful that the disorder i have is mixed and is not the most serious stage of bp. bp is the name of the mood disorder, i just don't feel comfortable typing or saying it out loud yet. i'm still a very private person, but i'm learning that in order to get better sometimes you have to talk about it.

other than that bomb of a disaster that's taken up a lot of time i have a lot of things to deal with still. do i want to be in school this semester still? do i want to work full time and get benefits? do i still want to move out in january? there's a lot of unknowns right now, but i'm really glad and grateful to have come to the root of some of the biggest emotional problems because deep down you have to take care of yourself first, and everything else comes second.

i love you all, and thanks for listening.

xoxo,

Bgirl