I have been stressed recently because of all the pressure I've been put under to do well, succeed and land that first AMAZING job that everyone expects a recent graduate to land, all the while saving all my money for my future apartment/school loans/new car? Let me tell you the predicament I currently am in. Because of a mistake I made last April of 2012, and trust me I regret the decision I made and am paying the consequences for that action, I currently do not have a license. After getting a dui, life has been just a wee bit harder. Don't ever drink and drive, it's not worth it, and you'll go fucking broke, good luck affording dinner. ND->Bail money $350, lawyer $2000, Fees $150, Classes $200, Alcohol evaluation $75, Risk reduction seminar $150, reinstatement fee $500, license fee $50. MN->Reinstatement fee $680, application for new license $25, and so much TIME has been given over to the states by me just in order to basically remain a resident of MN and get my license back. Besides all of the money I have paid, I didn't have a license May-October in ND, making me have to move home and finish my classes at BSU in Bemidji, MN. At least I could drive in MN, my lawyer said that I was ok to drive until MN notified me that they were notified by ND of my run in with the law and would revoke my license. This, my lawyer said, was highly unlikely and I'd still be able to drive in MN. Well, he thought wrong. January 9th I received a letter from MN stating that as of Jan. 10 my license was revoked, and I did not qualify for a work permit, had to finish all of my fines with ND, and then turn towards my state of residency, MN, and go through the requirements with MN to get my license back :( What a mess huh? This year has been A LOT of hard work...I have only been working part time the entire year making a part time wage..sometimes working overtime, but how much can a person make on a $10/hour wage working 50ish hours a week? Not a whole fucking lot. I feel as though 2012 was all about making money to pay for my dui, and whatever was left, which was hardly anything at all, was used for gas and food. Good thing I don't eat a lot haha. Feb. 30th I will have to be driven to Fargo to take a test for ND and if I pass I can get my license back, of course I have to fax in all of the papers stating I have passed and paid for all of the requirements they set out to get my license back. Once I'm finished with ND, I will be ok with MN to get my license back as of Feb. 9th. I have already done all of the requirements for MN, and am just waiting to hear the OK from ND then MN will finally give me my license back. What a headache, right? I realize that it was a huge bad decision I made and someone could've been hurt, but no one was hurt, and it was my first offense. I don't understand why the consequences and fees are so high for a first time offender? After all of my classes and learning about how 'bad drinking and driving is' I have come to discover the consequences for a second offense are so much less than a first time offense....now does this make sense? Not really. Anyways, there's not really much I can do now..it's on my record for life in MN, will drop off my driving record in ND in 7 years, my car insurance will be more expensive for a while and now I have to list this as an offense on job applications while I'm applying for new jobs. It's awful, it makes me feel miserable, and there are many many days when I wake up and I just want to stop trying. It takes so much energy, effort, money, time, and the sympathy and time of those close to me to drive me back and forth like a child. This fucking sucks. I learned my lesson, and it really has put a bad taste in my mouth about alcohol in general, and I don't enjoy drinking at all anymore either. My friends don't understand why I wont drink anymore, but as I look at some of them make the bad decisions I was making last year, and trust me I warn them immensely, but it's their life and they make their decisions, I just hope this doesn't happen to any of them. We are at the age where our careers are just starting out and this is not the time to be getting these misdemeanors.
Soon enough I will be able to drive and I can start living my life again, and make my own decisions, and I look forward to that day. The money I have spent cannot be given back, the decision I made cannot be re-done, all I can do is move forward. I have to try and keep a positive attitude, no matter how hard that may be, and keep my chin up and keep moving forward.
Well, I feel much better after that rant and now feel like I can start the day. Can't wait to get a job that actually pays me decent money too!!! I made more working at a bank for less than a year than I do right now, this is ridiculous. The resort does not believe in raises, lunch/dinner or any sort of breaks (which is completely illegal), they take away our chairs so we cannot sit, and expect you to be able to work 50 hours or more a week, no questions asked. Makes me really want to go back there everyday.....not!
I so much look forward to the day ahead when I don't have to worry so much about how I'm going to be able to fill up my gas tank, or buy some groceries, or most importantly to not be a nuisance to anyone anymore. I'm 24, I should be able to do the things I please.
Now go enjoy this Friday loves, enjoy your weekends for me. I will be working many many hours this weekend at the resort training new people in and checking in and caring for over 150 guests (we have 115 rooms). The weekend is meant for enjoyment, now go and enjoy it!
B
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