It was about a couple of months after. Just got back from spring break and was feeling ok again. I went out with a couple of friends to the bar, and before I knew it, I locked eyes with the cutest brown eyed boy I'd ever had laid eyes upon. Lucky for me, he was a friend of a friend, so it wouldn't be so awkward when I got up the courage to go talk to him. Before I talked to C, I told my girl S that my goal for the night was to kiss the cute brown eyed boy. (If you know me when I make a goal, I usually exceed them..sometimes not always a good thing) The next thing I knew C had taken a seat next to me, and I couldn't help but not breathe and just stare at him. Honest to god, I've never been so attracted to someone in my life. He started chatting with me and kept giving me the 'eyes'...you know the 'you're kinda cute' kind of eyes. I was so excited to finally have a crush on someone again! That night I followed C around town and ended up going over to his friend A's to hang out some more. On the drive over his car was so packed that I had to sit on his lap (well there was probably room in the back, but I felt like getting cozy;) while his friend drove. There was an instant attraction and such chemistry with C right from the beginning I knew it was only a matter of time until things progressed. During the car ride C turned my cheek and started kissing me. Just thinking about our first kiss gives me goosebumps. After that first night we were hanging out all the time, and I just loved being around him. I had felt like he was the first thing I was happy about and looked forward to every day I spent with him after the incident.
We spent much of the spring together and a little of summer, although he got a new girlfriend and he didn't spend much time with me anymore. During the fall, he and his girlfriend broke up and then we started spending time together again just before he moved away for school in the fall. Now that it's winter, we barely see each other at all. Maybe once a month if we're lucky. It makes me very sad to think that someone so important to me has become very distant. We talk on the phone sometimes and text more, but it just feels empty now that he is no longer here. The time that we do spend together he seems preoccupied and busy, so it hurts to know that he just doesn't care anymore.
He said this fall that he wished we weren't such great friends because if he married me, he knew he'd be happy every day for the rest of his life. When he told me that I couldn't help but cry on the other end of the phone. For it was in that moment that I realized, I somehow lost the best thing I ever had.
