The early bird gets the worm..

Who is on time? Is anyone on time anymore? Where are all the punctual people???

Well, I dunno if you're looking at one. (Or reading about one rather)

I'm trying to be more punctual because I'm finding it to be disrespectful of people when they waste/take up too much of your time. I mean it's great to spend time with people, and I wish that I could spend more with them, but I have a lot going on too. There's work, school, family, many other things to worry about/work on.

Sorry for the rant, just on my mind at this late hour.

Goodnight my lovers,

B

Waiting for Forever...

As I was looking at recent news on fb tonight, I ran across a friend of mine from college's new wedding website. I couldn't help but be happy for her, but couldn't help but wonder, when will it be my time...? I know they say it'll happen when you're ready and 'you just know', but sometimes it feels so far off that it's a little discouraging. I mean, every little girl's dream is to grow up and have a beautiful wedding that all her family and friends are in attendance. I don't know if it's just me, but I've been preparing/looking forward my wedding all my life, now just waiting on 'the one'. Trust me, I'll be patient and wait until it's my turn, but I can't help but hope it's sooner than I think. It's so wonderful to have many of my friends getting engaged, married and having their first children, but I also can't help but wish it was me too...

keeping(!) the hope and faith,

Bgirl

Relationship Rules..

3 main rules in relationships:

Don't Lie, Don't Cheat, and Don't make promises you can't keep.

...life...

life...such a difficult thing for some to understand. what matters most to you? is it your material possessions that can easily be taken from you, or is it something more, something that no one can take from you no matter how hard they try? Something that most don't understand matter, something they can't even touch or see.

for me, the latter means most. being a very private person, i value things that cannot be seen by the human eye. those things are a certain feeling, certain scents, certain places that bring me back to the happiest times of my life. although i don't think a person is happy their whole life, people tend to make certain choices in order to obtain happiness. those choices we make are what life is all about. do we want to help those who need it the most, or are we going to let the moment pass and choose ourselves...

choose to be different. choose to be caring and helpful, to the best of your ability. if you choose to be yourself and to help others become the best they can be, you have achieved great success. more success than the richest of men, the most beautiful of women, and more than the average person can accomplish in a lifetime.

for if you try your hardest to accomplish these things, there is no better life to lead.

b girl

hugs & kisses & love

i love sleep, my life has a tendency to fall apart when i'm awake, you know?

Ernest Hemingway knew what he was talking about. sometimes i feel like without sleep i turn into someone kinda crazy...we'll call the crazy side of me blanca..(because i was called this once in spanish class and i hated it)..

anytime i start to feel sad i tend to look at my friend A's fb page. she is so optimistic about things and i strive to be somewhat like her. she is a world traveler and such a sweetheart. if i'm ever known for something i hope i'm known for being a caring sweetheart that travels a bit to accomplish good things...that seems good enough for me. :)

traveling makes me happy, since when you travel you are displaced from your sense of comfort and it's good to be uncomfortable every day to get a broader sense of your surroundings.

i don't know where i'm going, but i promise it wont be boring..

loves and kisses,

B

Great days need to come around more often

why hello there friends. how are you doing today? i'm great too, thanks for asking:) today is just a good day, for no rhyme or reason...these days i wish would come around more often. maybe it's because i got a lot of sleep last night, that's probably it. i don't get a lot of sleep normally, so when i do i feel like i'm on cloud 9. this is a great cloud to be on, it's like a normal natural high that can't be achieved by taking medication.

anyways, i'm very much looking forward to this week since i am going to fargo on wednesday, tomorrow, until friday. i have a lot of appointments to make that i made, meet with advisors, meet with a potential landlord and see an apartment i adore...all good things coming my way this week. also on friday i'm excited to drive back because i'm stopping in nevis to hang out with my friend R. not quite sure what we're doing yet, but i know it'll be fun since he's fun person to be around. i'll probably want to just chill and watch a movie, and he'll probably be down for that since he's such an easy-going person. i like hanging out with him...

anything else on my agenda? hmmmm..also going to hang out with some fargo friends i guess! a bunch of students are really busy this week so i wont get to see them all, but i'm guessing a surprise visit to the turf will uncover a lot of them say around midnight when the library closes:) haha i'm sneaky.

anyway hope you all have a great week! maybe i'll post some things from fargo..not sure yet though. i'll be staying with my sister E, and we'll probably be chill most of the week besides fun trips to big top bingo or something haha

peace and loves,

B

This feeling needs to go away...or maybe not..

Do you ever feel like too much of a good thing is bad? Well what if too much of a good thing is actually good..i mean what if the good thing you have going includes not spending any money, it's simply spending time with the people you love. and what if the one person you love the most doesn't even know? this is a hard feeling to have...i know now what it's like to feel invisible..not good!

I know it's a silly thing to be frustrated about but it really kind of makes me sad:( it's a single person making me feel all of these emotions and they don't even know that they get under my skin! uggghhh. just wish this person knew more than they do, i'm just afraid to tell them..and it's not good to be afraid of something i know, but when you can lose something so easily, you're more careful with it. i'm afraid if i tell this person how i feel, than i'll lose anything that we could have had.

i'm going to watch my steps carefully, but i'll be sure to leave footprints if that makes sense...

blairy

Pessimism is out...OPTI-misim is in....fuck that

i feel like this blog title should be an OPI nail color and nothing else haha.

well let me fill you bloggies in, the ones that actually read and are awesome (hint hint my dear friend A, who i could not live without). if you don't read, i don't really care anymore..

i had the most opportune time of being admitted into a health institution these last 8 days..boy lemme tell you, it was a blast in a glass! haha not really, but it was a much needed move and i'm glad my parents suggested i go. i've learned a lot; how to accept things about myself, how to let things go, how to flush out the bad things in my life in the most polite way possible, how to be patient, how to relieve stress in positive ways, and how to be a better listener and how to eat healthier! HOW did i learn all this in 8 days you say?? well when you are diagnosed with a scary sounding mood disorder, anything is possible. i will have this mood disorder for life, but i am learning to manage the outbreaks and will have to be medicated for life. i am grateful that the disorder i have is mixed and is not the most serious stage of bp. bp is the name of the mood disorder, i just don't feel comfortable typing or saying it out loud yet. i'm still a very private person, but i'm learning that in order to get better sometimes you have to talk about it.

other than that bomb of a disaster that's taken up a lot of time i have a lot of things to deal with still. do i want to be in school this semester still? do i want to work full time and get benefits? do i still want to move out in january? there's a lot of unknowns right now, but i'm really glad and grateful to have come to the root of some of the biggest emotional problems because deep down you have to take care of yourself first, and everything else comes second.

i love you all, and thanks for listening.

xoxo,

Bgirl