Sunday, January 16, 2011

field service lube technician

what the fuck. really fargo? the only jobs you have available are things like field service lube technicians and tractor trailer delivery drivers?

i would rather be a stripper at the norther. just saying. i don't really know what a service lube technician does, but it sounds messy and like a lot of work and i do not want anything to do with that.

just because north dakota has the lowest unemployment rate in the country doesn't really mean much when there's only a few hundred thousand people living in the state and there aren't many different jobs to choose from.

why am i talking about this? well i lost my job on tuesday and if i don't want to freaking drive my car down to the red river and continue to drive into the river because my life is shit right now, then i better get my fuckin shizz together. starting with finding a job. then finding classes to take for the semester. then figure out my finances. then figure out my debt to income. then figure out what to have for dinner. geeze life is tough sometimes. i'm just gonna leave it at those because there is soooo much more that i just cannot disclose in this blog for personal reasons. AKA don't want my frans that follow this blog to know. even though it's just you 2, you know who you are, i just don't really wanna say it out loud. so forgive me.

anyways, life is shit and then you die so lets all get high. but really, all i wanna do is find the rainbow after the storm and smell the fresh raindrops dripping from the leaves of a nice tall oak and just stop and think 'damn life is good' while sipping away at a nice raspberry chai latte while holding the hand of someone i love. but it's hard to realize that i don't know if that fantasy is in my cards. i know that you have to keep faith that things will get better, but when will they? it's been a year, but in all reality this year has felt like it lasted 5 years. every day seems to last a month or longer, especially when insomnia was a nice little treat that i got last spring. oh well, i just need to learn to take the bad with the good, and to just really pay attention to the good things in life. wish me luck, i think i'll need it.

love you much,

xxxxx (only gettin kisses tonight)

B

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